A show, A love and a relationship

I love My Name is Earl. I haven't seen it in a little while. But seeing it again today reminded me of why I love it. Almost cried, I laughed and it made me think of my relationship with God. Good stuff.

A friend, A conversation and An extra note

I made a new friend the other night. Her name is Janet and this is the story. It was 11:30 at night, I had just got back from jogging (yes jogging) with Ben and remembered that one of my kids from work needed the money that I promised them for some kind of sponsorship or other. Anyways, I decided that I needed to go to the Elephant to get the money. This includes walking through the underground subways to cross the road. There is always someone sitting there, always asking for some change, always with a nice "God bless you" when you politely say no. But this time it was different. In stead of the usual, "spare some change", I heard a slightly tipsy "spare any change, it's my birthday today". I said my usual "sorry love" and I got my usual "God bless" in return. It wouldn't let me go though. I had to walk past her again on the way home, and stopped to apologise for not being able to get her anything, as the shops were closed. She looked genuinely surprised. We began talking, I heard more about her, I talked to her about my life and ended up spending half an hour in the subway, making a new friend. Sometime this week I will walk off to try and find her again as promised.
On another note, spring is nice, my flat is clean and I have a real big headache.

An Archbishop, A trip and A blessing

A good way to start a blog, I think, is putting it into context; so here is my context right now. I'm at home, in bed (I love wireless internet) and it is 23:48. I have just gotten home from work, I am feeling a bit ill and I am listening to Topol tell me about the little town of Anatevka and their traditions (that's not why I am feeling a little ill though).
So, I think that I may have mentioned that I was going to meet the Archbishop of Cantebury (if I didn't, I went last week Tuesday). I think that there were about 75 people there, all over at his for a service and finger food afterwords. The fact that there was only finger food was quite a shock as we went thinking that there would be more food and I hadn't eaten all day. I was also quite surprised that it was a full blown service complete with the sitting down and the standing up and the saying of things after certain things. It would have been pretty confusing but it was all written out on the order of service so we all of us knew what was happening. I was, (should this have been as surprising as it was) quite inspired by what he had to say about love. With his voice as deep and rich as Christopher Lee and a practiced, beautiful style, he talked about the calling of the church to love and our attitudes towards each other. He spoke of the "terrifying, white hot presence" of God's love that can "frighten us with its intensity and integrity". Hm. Honestly, how often do I feel that about God's love? I'm seeking it now. I want to see it like that. Not only like that, but I want to see that side of it. He challenged us to look at each other (ie other churches) not looking for failings but for reflections of God. I thought to myself "how would that change my life if I did that everyone?" I should be but I rarely do. I am now striving to do that too. I think that I am finally begining to realise that I can love people and see people as God does. We'll see how this goes.
On other notes, I am going "home" tomorrow night until Sunday night. I'm hoping to have a great time there. I am currently struggling with a lack of sence of belonging and home. I don't know where my roots are, where my home is and I think that moving here to London has been a bit more of a culture shock than I have wanted to admit. We'll see how this goes as well.
This post certainly is long enough and as I am currently listening to the wonderful Fiddler of the Roof, I will leave you with a blessing from it
"Heaven bless you ... , to your health and may we live together in peace! May you ... be favored with the future of your choice [or happiness in what God chose for you], May you live to see a thousand reasons to rejoice!

A tree, A phone and A colour

Well, there have been some changes on the home front. First of all, and probably most exciting...
I came home on Tuesday to drop some stuff off before carrying on to work, and there, outside my house were two men. They were definately workers from some building company or something like that but I couldn't tell from the distance that I was still at. As I drew closer to my home, I saw two magnificent objects rising from the ground. What were they? They hadn't been there previously there, they seemed to have just appeared. I didn't make the connection between them and the two men until a few seconds later when I realised that the objects were trees and the men their planters! Trees? On our street? Wow!!!!!! A huge smile spread across my face and I must have radiated thanks onto those men, because they blushed at my joy but smiled. So, that is the first new thing. Trees on Princess Street. Baby trees for me to take care of. I can feel fresh air in my lungs already!
The second new thing is that I have a new mobile. It is beautiful. That is all I have to say about that.
The third new thing is that I have dyed my hair yet again. I think that it will fall out next time. It is now pretty blong, which was a shock as it was supposed to be a fairly dark brown. Hmm, still not sure what I think about it, but no one has hurled major abuse at me yet. We'll still see.

A laugh, A list and A (book) log

Hee Hee. Ah it is good to be able to laugh at yourself. Don't get me wrong, I still stand behind everything that I wrote yesterday, but I do apologise for the fact that most of it is incoherent. It was really late. Anyways, here are a few things I love:
1. The Killers. I dunno why but I really really do.
2. Praying for people over msn. How cool is that.
3. Going out with Jess for a girly night.
4. Apples with toffee sauce. Kind of negates the healthyness but is still really good.
5. Beyonce's song Check up on it. Embarrasing but I love it.
6. Having the kids that I work with come over and visit. Two of them popped by today and we ate ice cream and had a laugh. I can't begin to say how much I love that.
7. The hour before going out. I love the "what-am-I-going-to-wear-is-my-makeup-ok" hour
8. Getting visits. One of my best friends is coming in a week. Wohoo!!!!
9. Not being able to go to sleep because you want to know what is going to happen in the book you are reading. That's what kept me up till 3 this morning. Tony Parsons "man and boy".

On that note of the book, here are a few questions that have come out of reading it. Why do men have such a difficulty with growing old and losing their youth? I would be horrified if I lost my young-at-heartness but still... going out and buying a race car? How many young people can really afford that anyways? Is having a one night stand forgivable? What would I do if I found out my husband had cheated? Is going off and starting something with a married man the same thing? Is ruining one marriage justifiable, especially if you hate your husband for what he has done? Surely the man that you are with is just doing the same thing? Anyways, those are the questions that I have come up with so far. Feel free to answer. It is a good read. I would recommend it. In fact, I just opened it up to find a phrase to quote and there were so many to pick from that I couldn't be bothered. So read it yourself.

Honesty, people and being me

How often have you wished you could be honest? How often are we really honest? I'm rarely honest. There are maybe two or three people I can be really honest with, but I have yet to come across any one else. People seem to not know how to take honesty. They always try to push their own opinions onto you, so quick to point out your short comings or show you how to fix it. I am guilty of that all the time. I am really trying to be able to be someone who can just listen and not try to fix. That drives me crazy. I want to be someone people can sound off to, or someone people can pull a Job with and just sit for hours with nothing to say. I want to be a real comfort and not some crap Superman who thinks that they can solve everything.
So often people manage just to make you feel worse. I did that once to one of my best friends. We were discussing things that we struggled with spiritually and every time she mentioned something she would struggle with I would say "Oh I don't have a problem with that" or "Oh yeah I had that problem ages ago" Why is it that people are completely incapable of admiting their short comings? Why can't we admit to not knowing the answers? Why do I feel horrible when I make a mistake, when I don't know, when someone knows better? There is such a pressure on people to be the best that they can be. But what does that mean? I don't know. I want to give up feeling guilty when I don't know, when I screw up, when I act my age, when I don't think of deep things, when I have nothing to say on a subject, when I am perfectly normal and predictable. From here on in, I want to try to be honest. Maybe just for a little while. I wonder what will happen?

A summary of my day, a summary of my flat and a subsequent cry for help

So, it is now ridiculously late and I have managed to do very little today. I did a bit of work, read a bit for uni, played some Sims 2 (I got a raise again in that, well done me!) and then finished yet another book, or better read a book through, from my childhood. I also talked to friends on the phone who called me cause they felt bored. That always makes me feel loved.
Ben and Vicky have left for training for a week so I have the flat to myself. Today I have loved it, just having some quite and some peace and time for myself. Loverly. I know that come Friday, though, I will be glad to have them back. I hope so at least. :)
My current project is trying to make my flat look nice. Not that it isn't nice, it is freshly renovated, but that is just it. All the rooms are the same colour, we have the same carpet through out, there is nothing really to break the sameness of the blue carpet and the beige walls (which get dirty really fast by the way...) However, I am restricted with what I am allowed to do. Apparently I am not allowed to paint, not allowed to hang or otherwise put things on the walls. It was suggested that I hang posters or calendars of bands or lay down a rug. However, being over the age of 15, I am looknig for something a bit more mature than that (nothing against posters though if you happen to have some in your room)
I have spent some time on ebay today, looking for interessting frames. I think I am going to have to hang things on the walls eventually but I will have to present a good case to have it approved. I just want to be able to feel at home where I live, and right now I feel like I am just passing through and not staying for a few years like I really am. Maybe I am being unreasonable and I should just be grateful with what I have (which I am, please don't get me wrong) but there is only so much one can take of beige walls and blue carpets. Believe me. So, if anyone has any decorating ideas that don't involve painting, hanging, or generally damaging the walls, please post them here and I will be forever grateful. I guess this is kind of a "Pimp my flat" (with restrictions) kind of call.
Oh, and I think that my flat is so messy cause my flat mates and I want to break the monotony. :)
p.s. the flat really isn't that bad, but it does need something to fill it. :)