A personal confession from a frustrated soul

Like any other self-respecting Salvo, I went to Roots this year. I was meant to be on the team I was on last year but for various reasons I ended up not having to work and having a lot of time on my hands. I haven't been in the happiest place recently and was really not in the mood to go to any sessions and listen to what people had to say about reaching Others. I just want to hear what God had to say about me. I did that by doing very little indeed, reading Tom Holt and chilling until the Sunday evening. Sunday evening a woman I have quite a bit of time for was speaking so I decided to go for a listen. She talked about the centurion and repeated again and again the phrase "I have not seen faith like this in the church of God". Every time she said it, it was like a kick to the stomach. Why have we not seen faith like that in the church of God? What would happen if we did? God was begining to wake me up again.

I have been comfronted again again by my own lack of faith in God and in His people (the Church). Why is it that we have so many problems? Why is it that we are so happy to cut each other down behing each other backs and tear each other apart instead of build each other up?

For the past few years I have seen people called by God to do things, do join things, to move things. I have seen people being sure that God wants them somewhere, but then be scared away by the daunting scale of their calling. I've been one of those people. Sandra spoke on Sunday about simple obedience to God. This is something that any Christian is called to do, but it seems to me that since we call ourselves and Army, we should be leading the way in this. What kind of army gets orders and then goes "actually, that is a bit to dangerous, I think that I am going to stay home."?!

I have been hurt time and time again by seeing people who had God's annointing leave our church for one that is more comfortable, more cushy, because of the hurt that they have been through. I look at the Bible, though, and see people time and again go through the same thing. Moses, Jonah, the Israelites in general, Elijah; all of them heard what God was calling them too and said "um, no thanks." and then when they did do it, were often left hurt afterwards. BUT - they still did what God called them to do, even when it was scary, unappealing. What would happen if we did that today? What would happen if we stuck with the churches we are in instead of looking for churches that are popular? What would happen if we did what God called us to do, even if it makes us get dirty, even if it hurts, even if it means sacrificing ourselves?

We are a dying breed, friends, and we need to smarten up and begin taking ourselves and our faith seriously.