A song, a suitcase, and a lack of gentlemen
Alright, here is something that I have been mulling over for a while. Do you know the line in the song "Where have all the good men gone?" Now, I know that that is about finding a good man to, you know, start something with, and despite all the whinging that I do, I am actually quite happy single. But, I have been wondering for a while now where all the good men have gone. Men nowadays (and I am sorry if you are a man and reading this) seem to have lost their manliness almost. We seem to have entered the age where the gentleman has become obsolete.
What am I baseing this on? Well, many a time I have lugged a massive (obviously ridiculously heavy) suitcase around and struggled with it, especially in tube stations. Up and down stairs, sweating and coming close to swearing. Now, do you think that any man offered to help? Not once has a man offered to help me. In fact, the only help offered came from a woman when the cursed thing almost fell over in the street. The only men that I seem to be seeing recently are men who are so wrapped up in themselves and what they are doing that they don't even bother noticing a woman in distress (or struggling with a massive suitcase)
Now, this isn't to say that they aren't out there, I have met a few guys who still try to retain a bit of the good old chivalry. They seem to still appreciate that there are certain ways in which a man should behave and try to stick to it. You know, opening the door, carrying heavy things, putting coats across puddles... Why is this?
I actually think that much of it is our fault as women. I know that when I come across a man who is a realy gentleman, I get uncomfortable and don't know what to do with being treated with such respect. We women have tried so hard to become equal with men that we have forgotten that there are elements that seperate us from the other sex. I actually feel sorry for men, so much is expected of them: be strong, be manly, be kind, be understanding, be a gentleman, don't patronize and the list just goes on, we expect them to be everything and yet don't let them be "men". We have tried so hard to prove to men that they are not "needed", there is nothing they can do that we can't.
Dare I disagree with this? Alright, I will. I disagree. So here is a call to all men who still want to be men but don't want to offend: bring back the gentleman. It will take a while for us women to get used to it, but bring it back.
What am I baseing this on? Well, many a time I have lugged a massive (obviously ridiculously heavy) suitcase around and struggled with it, especially in tube stations. Up and down stairs, sweating and coming close to swearing. Now, do you think that any man offered to help? Not once has a man offered to help me. In fact, the only help offered came from a woman when the cursed thing almost fell over in the street. The only men that I seem to be seeing recently are men who are so wrapped up in themselves and what they are doing that they don't even bother noticing a woman in distress (or struggling with a massive suitcase)
Now, this isn't to say that they aren't out there, I have met a few guys who still try to retain a bit of the good old chivalry. They seem to still appreciate that there are certain ways in which a man should behave and try to stick to it. You know, opening the door, carrying heavy things, putting coats across puddles... Why is this?
I actually think that much of it is our fault as women. I know that when I come across a man who is a realy gentleman, I get uncomfortable and don't know what to do with being treated with such respect. We women have tried so hard to become equal with men that we have forgotten that there are elements that seperate us from the other sex. I actually feel sorry for men, so much is expected of them: be strong, be manly, be kind, be understanding, be a gentleman, don't patronize and the list just goes on, we expect them to be everything and yet don't let them be "men". We have tried so hard to prove to men that they are not "needed", there is nothing they can do that we can't.
Dare I disagree with this? Alright, I will. I disagree. So here is a call to all men who still want to be men but don't want to offend: bring back the gentleman. It will take a while for us women to get used to it, but bring it back.
posted by Sarah at 7:17 AM
3 Comments:
I think the problem as well is that you're in London which is so impersonal, try and say an innocent hi to a stranger on the tube and everyone thinks you're a weirdo! London and a lot of the south of England is very individualistic and people keep themselves to themselves. Now come to Belfast and pleanty of strangers will say hi and help you with your suitcase. As for the rest of the gentlemanly stuff I think you're right men often don't know what's the right way to behave, I used to go out with a girl who would get really annoyed at me for paying for stuff and not allowing her to pay and I thought I was just doing the gentlemanly thing. You Woman are such a confusing bunch!!
Ah boys, how right you are. Paul, thanks for adding to the cause (:)) and I think that you are right in urging women to accept the gestures (as dave pointed out it is rarely the case that we do). And Splem, if I ever make it out of London, I will go north and expect a friendly welcome :) This place is so fridged (except on new year's when everyone was drunk)
I agree with you, it IS our fault, and I feel bad for it. But I guess we redefined our sex as women (with that stupid feminist over-kill malarky) so this is an opportunity for men to redefine themselves too. But yes. It is our fault.
For Christian men I recommend 'Wild At Heart' and 'No More Christian Nice Guy'. We know you need to burp and have sex... we just don't like it very much...
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