Effective youth work?

Is that what I'm supposed to be doing? If so, I today I feel like I've completely missed the mark. Albeit, I've only been here barely 2 months, still in the relationship-building, needs-sussing faze. Still, I feel like I've got my hands in so many things and I can't do any of it properly. There is so much that I would like to, but no time to do it.

I don't have time to just go hang out with some kids in the neighbourhood and get to know them on their terms. There is no time for the things that I think would be really good. Programmes are not what make effective youth work. But what if that is all you have time to do? I think that I am doing something wrong.

It's so frustrating, barely seeing our youth once a week properly, and then in a poorly-organized, thrown together time. It's sickening how crap some of it is. Alright, it's just starting up, I'm supposed to be empowering etc. but I'm finding that really hard right now. That is probably why I've been feeling sick and out of place recently. I've wanted on a couple of occasions just pack up and go back to Berlin, where I know what I am doing, people know what I am capable of and respect me for it.

I'm finding it really hard to work under the constant pressure of trying to prove myself to my team, my boss, the parents and the kids. Is this what youth work in a church setting is always like? I hope that it is just birthing pains or something of the kind. I really hope that it is something that gets better with time. I need to get some sleep sometime. :)

I'm not asking for advice really. I never could take that well. I think that this is something that I need to think about and try to solve myself.